Week 3 | Midweek | Mark 10:32

I picked up an old Max Lucado book on the weekend from a box Jacqui's Dad had given us.
"And the Angels were silent" is a commentary taking launch from the platform of Jesus' last week.

Stunning insight in the first couple of chapters - I'm only 10 pages in I think- ; and I'm moved to relate to some of it.

Mark 10:32 is a remarkable verse:

They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him.

Jesus was leading the way, with full knowledge of what was about to happen to him.

That is compelling reading.

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You see, I was going to start this post with the thought that got the lappy out tonight.

I've realised I'm not *that* good at my job.

I'm a fair designer, capable of brilliance at times. Capable of grinding out good, solid work. Fairly nice to work with, and generally good-natured, and good to be around.

But a series of events have again conspired to learn me the truth I continue to dodge: none of it really matters.

For sure, there's opportunity to relate at work, and it earns me money to allow me to have house and food.

But all my effort during the day simply makes a widget, a widget that is disputably better or worse than our competitors and will rust, and fade, and diminish, and cease.

Is this an Ecclesiastes moment? hmm, I don't think so, it's slightly different.

I think what I'm thinking about at the moment is on a global scale how truly worthless I am. I feel like a vandal throwing tiny pebbles against a cliff face. Just..unnoticable.

OK, so work's tough, bad luck Matt.

But it's more than that: it's understanding that some things will just BE, and whether or not I do a good, bad or otherwise job the end result is still going to be much the same.

My efforts don't feel futile; it's worse than that: they feel generic.

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Jesus KNEW what was coming in intimate detail, but still led the disciples to Jerusalem.
For John 3:16. For me. For everyone. All at once, but one by one.

In Him I find worth.

Starts out looking similar to the worth I keep believing in from work, and posessions, but that keeps reminding me of how futile, generic and small my contribution and accumulation is. And fleeting.

But in Christ, I find fulfilment, and overflow; more than I can imagine use for, or even begin to measure: and yet, just enough for what I need today.

A sense of not only of usefulness, but of inherent worth, and a scale that demands awe.

33 “We are going up to Jerusalem,” he said,“and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles, 34 who will mock him and spit on him, flog him and kill him.

Three days later he will rise.”